Euro 2016 – Day 21

Hooray, the football is back tonight, making it ever so slightly easier for us to explain to people what we’re doing and why. We’re still met with blank looks or outright incredulity, but being able to at the very least point at the TV and shout “Them, we’re drawing THEM” is better than nothing. And of course, it’s all for charity too, so hey, why not donate?

Right, time is short so let’s get to it with a quick round up of today’s abominations. A bad ventriloquist dummy of Iker Casillas, Vyacheslav Shevchuk with an entirely skewed head-to-face area ratio, and a rather queasy looking Ondrej Duja, who might just about to be sick.

Marco Veratti looks exactly nothing like Marco Veratti. Shay Given has a head like a loaf of poorly risen bread, while Vladimir Darida has wandered in from that bit at the end of Miss Marple where she gathers everyone in the deducing chamber to explain who killed Cornelia in the boathouse.

Shiny shiny shiny. Does anyone know how to photograph tin foil? Me neither.

Drawing these “hero” stickers is a bit of a pain. Petr Cech there with the perfect face for watching the news for the past week…

Guzmics is vague, Zielinski is vague, Ekdal is chewing a wasp, and poor Sebastian Mila has been reduced to a gurning travesty. Apologies to one and all.

That’s all for today, check back tomorrow! The home straight is in sight…

542 STICKERS DOWN.

258 STICKERS TO GO.

AND, over £1700 now raised for our charities! You’re all a big bunch of heroes. And if you haven’t donated yet, and would like to (and possibly get yourself immortalised on a crummy sticker drawn by us), then GO HERE AND DO A NICE THING.

Ta!

Alex & Sian

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P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

Euro 2016 – Day 20

Stickers. Stickers. Must draw stickers. So tired. So hungry. No time for proper sleep. No time to cook real food. Five hours a night of fitful, restless slumber, staggered with bleakly vivid dreams of Jamie Vardy’s mouse-eyed face. Reheated fajita mix for dinner, yet again. Our neighbours must be worried – the back garden has gone full Jumanji. They know we’re not on holiday, they see us coming and going to and fro in increasingly dishevelled states of physical and mental disrepair. We’re tired, so very tired of drawing, and feeling a little bit overwhelmed, truth be told.

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If we had a cat, it would be dead by now.


So what do we do? We carry on. We carrying on putting crayon to paper, churning out our scruffy little misshapen doppelgangers, because you lot have been nice enough to keep on donating to our charities (damn you), keeping us keeping on. If you haven’t yet, please do consider donating, you’ll be helping some truly excellent causes and stopping the pair of us from losing the will to live as this existence-dominating odyssey enters the home straight.


So, what have we today? Oguzhan Ozyakup squints imperceptibly, frozen, like a man who has walked ten paces away from his car and has just realised his keys are inside. Ilkay Gundogan grimaces in distaste at his distorted, slack-jawed rendering, while Bernardo Silva we somehow managed to have drawn mid-sneeze.

Baines and Chipciu, the boggle-eyed twins. Bear in mind these stickers are only 64mm long in reality, so the odd misplaced pupil is, we feel, an acceptable level of collateral damage. There’s also human smudge Stanislav Sestak, and poor jug-eared David Pavelka, who looks more than a little like 80s kids’ TV nightmare ‘Pob‘.

Just a terrible collection of drawings. Garmash is a nervous child, Diarra a bearded thumbprint. A pursed and pouty Lukas Hinterseer channels a faint echo of Cameron Diaz…

That’s all for today, mercifully the football is back on tomorrow, to provide us with at least a flimsy film of context for this madness. The good news is that we’re past the 500 sticker mark, meaning less than 300 to go, though with only suddenly not-that-long-at-all left to do it. Check back tomorrow for some quarter-final love, a whole pile of rubbish stickers, and more half-arsed sleep-deprived waffling.

514 STICKERS DOWN.

286 STICKERS TO GO.

Aaaaaand, we are past the £1600 mark with our charity donations. Wonderful news! If you’d like a sticker OF YOU, then donate donate donate!

Until tomorrow…

Sian & Alex

P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

Euro 2016 – Day 19

Well, this is Björkward…

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Well, it actually happened. England lost to Iceland. For the second time in a week, a slow-motion car-crash of national calamity unfolded, if not in front of us, then at least in our peripheral vision, as our eyes stayed locked lap-wards, forever focused on the unceasing production of dreadful doodles of tiny men. As the telly pundits’ apoplectic incantations of rage peaked, we could only carefully lob a pencil sharpener between ourselves as necessary, too caught up in this futile, baffling and life-destroying quest to draw the worst 800 pictures of anything ever.

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I say “futile”, but of course we’re doing this for a nebulous but entirely worthwhile reason: 800 stickers in 30 days was the deal, and we intend to complete it on time even if our lives disintegrate entirely, because it’s all to raise money for our charities. So, if you haven’t, and you’d like to do something great while also probably getting a rubbish sticker of yourself in return… donate!

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, England. Obviously, drawing anyone connected with the Three Lions will be a little more infuriating than usual, but doubly so when we have to draw the players who found their way into Panini’s Euro 2016 sticker book despite not even being picked for the flipping tournament. We’re not sure if it’s possible to draw through gritted teeth, but we gave it a go. SO, here we have a strangely ginger and entirely inaccurate Phil Jones, a spectacularly decrepit and possibly expiring Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Theo Walcott displaying the kind of insouciant not-bothered-ness he so successfully translated to his Arsenal performance last year. Oh England!

Awful. Abysmal. Atrocious.

Depressed. Deflated. Deranged.

Tiny Czechs. Wonder where David Lafata’s other leg is?

Right, that’s all for today. Apologies for the lateness and the brevity, but drawing 27 a day of anything takes a while even if you’re good. But we’re not, so it takes us forever just to bodge these monstrosities. Good grief, this is hard work. Go on, donate to our charities, or else we’re going to start finger-painting or just smearing egg yolk and jam on a blank sticker and telling you it’s Lukas Podolski or something.

499 STICKERS DOWN.

301 STICKERS TO GO.

Check back tomorrow, assuming we’re still functioning adults who can work a keyboard.

Sian & Alex

P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

Euro 2016 – Day 18

Our lives are in ruins. Day after day of broken promises, friends stood-up, appointments missed, loved-ones neglected, meals unfinished. Our tiny lawn is knee-high, plates pile up in the kitchen. We haven’t known the touch of a fresh towel for what seems like forever.

Because there’s no time. There’s no time for anything. Because we’re drawing…always drawing…

And we’re still rubbish. We really are magnificently resistant to improvement. Excuse us if we take a little perverse pride in that.

Oh my. As we speak, England are 2-1 down to Iceland. That’s flipping strange. Here’s Iceland’s starting XI, who by the time you read this may or may not have earned themselves a place on the history books. Blimey.

Jakob Jantscher as a cut-price Tormund from Game of Thrones. Mad-eyed Łukasz Szukała and bog-brush haired Ján Durica complete a grotesque triptych.

Rubbish. Who knew John Stones was a 9 year old boy with measles?

Oh, we’ve finally got round to drawing some of the snazzy super-super ‘hero’ stickers that Panini have seen fit to adorn this year’s album with. We thought we’d start with Wayne Rooney, seeing as England are playing today…

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The results are genuine, 100% pure grade-A nightmare fuel.

Right, might treat ourselves to watching the last 20 minutes of England’s torture against Iceland. Really, what is going on…?

479 STICKERS DOWN.

321 STICKERS TO GO.

£1579.88 raised! If you haven’t already, and you’d like a picture OF YOU, drawn by our own trembling, talentless hands, then DONATE!

Until tomorrow…

Sian & Alex

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P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

Euro 2016 – Day 17

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How was your Sunday? Have a nice lie-in, did you? Maybe a late breakfast over the papers? Nice stroll in the sunshine? Trip to the garden centre? Did you catch-up on that DIY you’ve been putting off? Or curl up with a box-set and while away the afternoon? What did you do for food? Sunday roast, was it? Lamb? Beef? All the trimmings? I bet the gravy was lovely. Made it yourself, did you? No Bisto for you, yeah?

WE ATE LEFTOVER PIZZA IN A SEA OF PENCIL SHAVINGS.

But it’s alright. We’re okay. No, really. We’re fine. We’re soldiering on. We’re powering through. Our noses are to the grindstone. There’s elbow grease everywhere, or something. Because we’re past halfway now, and that enormous, teetering pile of blank stickers is shrinking by the hour. Our 400th sticker was met with a subdued but steely high-five between the two of us: we’re going to make it, we keep telling ourselves. AND, as long as you massive heroes keep digging deep for our charities, it’ll all be worth it. So if you haven’t donated yet: BE EXCELLENT AND DO IT NOW. Although be warned, it’ll mean we might end up drawing your face too. Yep, even that bit.

But what of today’s scribblings? Well, we start with Marcelo Brozovic looking alarmed, Daniele De Rossi looking Daniele De Shevelled, and Yaroslav Rakitskiy looking – according to Twitter – a bit like Boy George. Feel especially bad for De Rossi’s treatment here, as our rendering makes it look like he’s been dragged backwards through a hedge, or spent a night in Paris with Northern Ireland’s fans.


It may not have escaped your attention that Croatia’s Ivan Perisic had his national flag dyed into the side of his head prior to their game last night… well, as our treatment of Marouane Fellaini’s new hairdo proved, the best bit about drawing your own Panini album is keeping it up to date…

That took a lot longer than it should have.

Ah, always had a bit of a thing for Moussa Dembele, so it’s a shame we’ve bodged him so horribly here. Laszlo Kleinheisler is yet another unfortunate victim of our accidental bobble-head treatment, while Michal Pazdan has apparently done us the honour of donning full make-up.

Lastly today, just what is going on with Slovakia and their mohawk fetish? There must be easier ways of fostering team unity, is all we’re saying.

And, that’s your lot for today. Check back tomorrow, PLEASE donate to our charities, and enjoy what little remains of your weekend. But when you’re watching that seventh episode of Netflix-fodder, just spare a little thought for us…

441 STICKERS DOWN.

359 STICKERS TO GO.

And, get this: £1548.63 raised for our charities. Ace!

Until tomorrow,

Sian & Alex

P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

Euro 2016 – Day 16

The weekend. We’re huge fans of the weekend, as a rule. Lots of loafing around on the sofa and eating crisps. Heavenly. Not this weekend though, not when there’s money to raise via the amateurish drawing of legions of tiny men. But it’s okay, our purgatory is a little less unbearable than it has been, as a few nice things have popped up to brighten our day. First off, those lovely guys at Sky Sports Italia (I guess) did a wee thing about us here… we haven’t dared to run it through Google translate yet, so we’ll choose to assume that they say that our artistic skills are extraordinary and our drawings staggeringly lifelike. Yep, let’s just go with that.

Ah, we just caved and translated it.

A foolish enterprise with a noble purpose : the two are actually collecting money for charity , inviting their supporters to cheer for them and to donate to a worthy cause like breast cancer research

A foolish enterprise with a noble purpose? Been trying to sum all this up this succinctly for weeks. So thanks!

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The other nice thing that happened was we were sent a tray of cake by a lovely well-wisher, who (correctly) assumed that with all this drawing nonsense taking over lives, we probably weren’t managing to feed ourselves. So enormous thanks, Barbara Wallis! These taste ace.

But anyway, enough frivolity, we’re here for the excruciatingly serious business of drawing footballers really, really badly. A thoroughly dodgy start here, Volkan Babacan looking like a bearded baby, and his team-mate Selcuk Inan’s eyebrows have been imported from a Mr Potato Head. Oh, and if you’ve ever wondered how we draw these guys so consistently badly, the vid below shoes us how our version of Dries Mertens came to look like a smarmy villain from a forgettable episode of Miss Marple.

Gah, just appalling. Niall McGinn’s apparently tear-streaked, red-eyed visage seems poignant in light of Northern Ireland’s heartbreak earlier. Hakan Balta’s nose and mouth are pointing in opposite directions. And then we have Erkan Zengin… I mean, I don’t really know what to say, other than that seven hundred espressos is probably too many.

Germans!

That’s all for today. If you haven’t already, please consider donating to our charities, you’ll feel flipping amazing about yourself if you do. And remember, our top 100 donations will earn themselves their very own Panini Cheapskate of their very own face, drawn really, really terribly by our very own hands.

16 days in, 14 days to go.

409 STICKERS DOWN.

391 STICKERS TO GO.

And, here’s the best bit: £1418.63 raised so far. If you’ve donated, you’re an absolute marvel.

Until tomorrow…

Sian & Alex

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P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

 

Euro 2016 – Day 15

Worry. Panic. Fear of failure. These are the sensations washing over us, assailing us from all sides. TWENTY-SEVEN stickers to draw every single day, for thirty days. Twenty seven fiddly little unwilling sods to cajole haphazardly onto paper.

Like these fellas. Awful aren’t they? That’s what happens when you don’t know how to draw, AND have to rush. We’re falling behind. Our insufferable friends and their infuriating wedding, marooning us in the middle of nowhere with only the scantest of access to adequate drawing facilities, have left us more than a little up against it.

So poleaxed are we by time constrains that we even tried drawing in the car in the way here. Have you ever tried drawing in a moving car? It’s an excellent way to create a picture of no artistic value while simultaneously making you want to vomit yourself inside out. Poor Gareth McAuley was our Panini Roadshow guinea pig. He didn’t come out of it too well.

Moving on, slim pickings today as, you may have noticed, we’re a little pushed for time. Olexander Kucher is a nervous wreck, while Migjen Basha simply does not look anything like a professional footballer, or indeed a professional anything. He looks more like a profoundly unscrupulous used car salesman.

Dear me. A heavily sedated Vincent Kompany, Simon Church looking like a burly dormouse, and the unsettling intensity and maniacal grin of Anatoliy Tymoschuk, who probably has his own graphic novel origin story in the pipeline.

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That’s your lot for today, though, much like the footy, we’ll be back with an enormous grab-bag sized portion tomorrow. At least I hope we will, or else our chances of finishing this stupidity on time may just disappear over the horizon…

389 STICKERS DOWN.

411 STICKERS TO GO.

15 DAYS DOWN.

15 DAYS TO GO.

Check back tomorrow, and DONATE if you haven’t already!

Sian & Alex

Euro 2016 – Day 14

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Busy busy busy. Despite a heartbreaking absence of actual football games to distract us, we’ve started falling ever-so-slightly behind. 27 stickers a day was always going to be a big ask, what with work and real life and – and we cannot stress this enough – our incredibly inconsiderate friends selfishly insisting on getting married this weekend. But anyway, not to grumble.

*grumbles intermittently*

With no games today, we were kind of at a loss as to who to draw next, so we asked our lovely Twitter followers to suggest some requests, resulting in these abominations. Juanfran, who I’m fairly sure is a professional footballer in real life, is re-imagined here as a wizened, elderly man. If the sticker was long enough, I assume a cane or zimmer frame would be in shot. Johann Gudmundsson and his piercing ex-forces stare put the fear of God into us. He’s seen things, man. And apologies to Stuart Dallas for the hobo makeover.

We’ve said this before, but it bears repeating… these skinny little stickers are an absolute pain in the nether regions to draw, and even more annoying to stick in. Still,they provide a whole new category of picture for us to fail to replicate, hence Jonny Williams’ bobble-head and Martin Skrtel’s cavernous maw.

Shirokov? Melancholy.
Milik? Smug.
Digne? Gormless.
Zhirkov? Just back from his gap year.
Yannick Ferreira-Carrasco? May want to switch to decaf.

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Right, that’s all from us today. Keep on spreading the word if you’d be so kind, the more people read this nonsense the more people will hopefully DONATE TO OUR CHARITIES, hint hint hint hint hint.

367 STICKERS DOWN.

433 STICKERS TO GO.

And, yes sir, a massively pleasing £1,370.63 raised so far. Amazing. If you haven’t donated yet, and our rubbish, wonky doodles have raised a chuckle from you even once throughout this silliness, then do consider popping a couple of quid our way. It’s for a pair of wonderful causes, and you’ll feel all warm and fuzzy about yourself, AND if you’re in our top 100 donations you’ll get a rubbish sticker OF YOU at the end of it. Yeah!

Check back tomorrow!

Sian & Alex

 

Euro 2016 – Day 13

We’re tired. We’re tired of drawing. We’re tired of of pens and pencils. We’re tired of rubbers and pencil sharpeners. We’re tired of staring at tiny pictures of men, trying and failing to commit their likenesses to tiny stickers. We’re tired of waking up and drawing while eating Coco Pops. We’re tired of sitting nervously at work knowing that there’s a teetering pile of blank stickers waiting for us at home demanding to have rubbish drawings scribbled on them. We’re tired of trying desperately to live normal lives while spending a combined 8-10 hours a day between the two of us on this fool’s errand. We’re tired of our friends infuriatingly insisting on getting married this weekend, robbing us of a precious evening of drawing. We’re tired. In short, we feel a little like this guy:

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BUT, it’s okay. It’s all okay. We’re doing this for a reason, and that reason is to raise money for two charities we’re awfully fond of. So, before we babble on, and if you haven’t already, please pop along and donate to our appeal, it’ll make this whole shebang worthwhile and you’ll be helping some ace causes. AND, if you’re in our top 100 donations when Euro2016 finishes, we’ll draw YOUR face. Badly.

Moving on, here’s the first of today’s disasterpieces. Emil Halfredsson has clearly been the victim of some unusual, invasive and doubtless illegal medical procedure, his towering Easter-Island-statue cranium bulging grotesquely. Genuinely a bit worried that via the wonderful world of Twitter he might end up seeing this picture and come looking for us. We’re double-locking the front door tonight. Max Kruse has recieived similarly harsh treatment from our shoddy pencilwork, reduced to some kind of gurning sub-Crouch marionette.

I’m sure our skills are regressing. Today’s hero Balazs Dzudzsak’s mouth is on upside down. Ireland’s Jeff Hendrick looks like the kind of fresh-faced, wide-eyed scamp that turns Louie Walsh’s pupils into comedy dollar signs, while Serdar Aziz is (one would assume) amongst the two or three most ginger men in Turkey.

All awful, obviously. Quite fond of Thomas Vermaelen and his octagonal head, and James McCarthy, who appears to have had his trumpet stolen.

Also: SHINIES:

Genuinely a teeny, tiny bit proud of that dragon. We’ll never look at tin foil the same way.

Right, we’re off. More drawing to do, more moaning at each other to endure, and more football on the telly to mostly ignore because we have to colour in Rui Patricio’s face or something.

347 STICKERS DOWN.

453 STICKERS TO GO.

DONATE DONATE DONATE!

Check back tomorrow,

Alex & Sian

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P.S. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and never miss a rubbish picture.

 

Euro 2016 – Day 12

It’s been a lovely day. While we basked in the glow of Wales qualifying, some French guys wrote some nice words about us here. As ever, Google translate has given us the odd unintentional chuckle: “The ugliest Panini stickers in the world sold for a good cause“, etc etc… thanks guys!

To be fair though, they have a point. I mean, that looks almost, but not entirely, unlike Cesc Fabregas. We’ve reduced Akos Elek to the state of a distressed Charlie Adam. Pontus Wernbloom’s rictus grin serves only to distract from his impossibly excellent name.

Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. Koke’s mile-wide eyes betray profound trauma, buried deep within his wispy-chinned head. Bruno Alves looks exactly like Danny Trejo.

Blimey, Croatia are just about to beat Spain by the looks of things. That gives us the perfect excuse to unveil this: presenting “Vedran Corluka: A Man Of Many Hats.”

For the uninitiated, the poor bloke bust his head open in each of Croatia’s first two games, and has since run through a veritable gamut of increasingly insane headgear in a bit to stem the flow. Get well soon Vedran.

That’ll have to be all for this evening, as (whisper it) we’re slightly in danger of falling beyond. These little guys won’t draw themselves…

319 STICKERS DOWN.

481 STICKERS TO GO.

And as ever, if you haven’t donated to our charities yet, please do!

Check back soon,

Sian & Alex

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