A landmark! A milestone! A single, tangible step towards completion! Yes, all of these things and more, shouted loudly, because we’ve finally finished our first team. The brave and beloved boys of the emerald isle are the lucky so-and-so’s, recreated here in their entirety for you to pour scorn on at will.
Thanks to the eleven million people on Twitter who pointed out that James McClean’s shirt is the wrong green. We know, but the other green felt tip pen was all the way on the other side of the room, and we’re terribly tired. Anyway, our personal favourites from this appalling collection:
No need for us to go over again the innumerable problems with these depictions, as they’re scattered throughout the past weeks of blog for you to hunt down at your leisure. Suffice to say that we wouldn’t want to bump into Stephen Ward in a dark alley, or have Richard Keogh corner you at what should be an enjoyable barbecue with your mates, only for him to unburden his soul to you for three hours while you frantically try and make eye contact with your friends to get them to come and rescue you, but they can’t and won’t, because the same thing happened to them at their last birthday and they were trapped listening to him for ages and nobody helped and now it’s your turn and they just want to watch you squirm and it’s just never going to end and you consider maybe pretending your phone is ringing or faking a heart attack or just pointing and yelling “LOOK OVER THERE” and turning and running in the other direction. Or maybe that’s just us.
Travesty after travesty. Taras Stepanenko’s eyes pull the unusual trick of being able to follow both you and someone else around the room simultaneously. Robert Mak’s full, pouting lips and immaculate complexion are straight from a naff aftershave advert. Pop him in an old-timey sailor’s outfit and bingo. Mario Pasalic joins the growing list of little guys who have had something spilled on them amidst the organised chaos of our coffee table – not tea this time, but green paint on his poor forehead. Sorry Mario.
A load of rubbish. Viktor Pecovsky inclines his head like a curious dog while Andre and Edmar gurn in pleasing synchronicity. Harnik radiates depression. Marchisio is just stupendously sexy.
Apologies for the lateness with today’s blog, we were working on a little extra something special which will hopefully see the light of day later this week. In the meantime, and until the semi-finals (featuring WALES) kick-off on Saturday, please do consider chucking a few quid to our charities, which you can do HERE in massive capital letters. We’re within sight of the finish now, and tantalising close to reaching our notional target of £2000, which would mean a grand apiece to our charities. Wouldn’t you like to help? Course you would, you’re lovely.
653 STICKERS DOWN
147 STICKERS TO GO
Sian & Alex