Well, this is Björkward…
Well, it actually happened. England lost to Iceland. For the second time in a week, a slow-motion car-crash of national calamity unfolded, if not in front of us, then at least in our peripheral vision, as our eyes stayed locked lap-wards, forever focused on the unceasing production of dreadful doodles of tiny men. As the telly pundits’ apoplectic incantations of rage peaked, we could only carefully lob a pencil sharpener between ourselves as necessary, too caught up in this futile, baffling and life-destroying quest to draw the worst 800 pictures of anything ever.
I say “futile”, but of course we’re doing this for a nebulous but entirely worthwhile reason: 800 stickers in 30 days was the deal, and we intend to complete it on time even if our lives disintegrate entirely, because it’s all to raise money for our charities. So, if you haven’t, and you’d like to do something great while also probably getting a rubbish sticker of yourself in return… donate!
Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, England. Obviously, drawing anyone connected with the Three Lions will be a little more infuriating than usual, but doubly so when we have to draw the players who found their way into Panini’s Euro 2016 sticker book despite not even being picked for the flipping tournament. We’re not sure if it’s possible to draw through gritted teeth, but we gave it a go. SO, here we have a strangely ginger and entirely inaccurate Phil Jones, a spectacularly decrepit and possibly expiring Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Theo Walcott displaying the kind of insouciant not-bothered-ness he so successfully translated to his Arsenal performance last year. Oh England!
Awful. Abysmal. Atrocious.
Depressed. Deflated. Deranged.
Tiny Czechs. Wonder where David Lafata’s other leg is?
Right, that’s all for today. Apologies for the lateness and the brevity, but drawing 27 a day of anything takes a while even if you’re good. But we’re not, so it takes us forever just to bodge these monstrosities. Good grief, this is hard work. Go on, donate to our charities, or else we’re going to start finger-painting or just smearing egg yolk and jam on a blank sticker and telling you it’s Lukas Podolski or something.
499 STICKERS DOWN.
301 STICKERS TO GO.
Check back tomorrow, assuming we’re still functioning adults who can work a keyboard.
Sian & Alex