Charity is hard. 6 days of spending every spare moment trying and failing to produce tiny, accurate representations of footballers, from peroxide Croatian playmakers to hulking, dead-eyed Russian centre-backs, is destroying us. There’s just so many of them. So many tiny, infuriatingly hard-to-draw little men, ranks and ranks of them, staring back at us in mock-horror, as we do our utmost to make them look at least a tiny bit like the cosseted, burnished millionaires they’re supposed to be. 27 stickers per day was our target. I’ll be honest, we’re struggling to keep up…
I mean really, what’s going on here? Antonio Candreva’s head expands ever outwards like a hot air balloon, about to float away for ever. Jaroslav Plasil’s thatched roof hair, caterpillar eyebrows and mismatched beard bring to mind Kurt Cobain as described by a maniac.
No, no, no. Adam Lallana looks like an anthropomorphised cartoon mouse from an under-budgeted, non-Disney family film. Chris Gunter is a lipless, ineffectual smudge. And then we have poor Glenn Whelan. Allow us to fill you in on how this travesty came to be…
“Yep, that pen looks flesh coloured.”
“Oh God. Oh. My. GOD.”
Yeah, sorry Glenn.
Drawing Petr Cech’s crash helmet/scrum cap thing provided some welcome variety, although we have managed to make it look like the world’s biggest bit of Lego. Alen Halilovic continues the odd Croatian trend of peering coquettishly at us from a jaunty angle, while Ben Davies makes for a believable Dickensian street urchin. Little scamp. Hal Robson-Kanu pouts seductively, undressing you, me, and everyone else in the vicinity with his slightly wonky eyes. And then, dear lord, we have Vasili Berezutski, who I now realise we forgot to colour in the pupils for, hence the lifeless orbs of purest ice peering out from his massive Russian head. Lovely bit of lipstick though, sets off that enormously broken nose beautifully.
End of Day 6…
160 STICKERS DOWN.
740 STICKERS TO GO.
And again, if our awful drawings have raised even the tiniest smile (or not), please remember that this is all for charity, so PLEASE donate to our very worthy causes. Seriously, you guys digging deep is what’s keeping us going!
Check back tomorrow…
Sian & Alex